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Meh

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. - Neil Gaiman

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Egomaniac Alert!

I've been on this train of thought for awhile now; I'll try not to make it too long..

Lately, I have discovered I have been extremely selfish. All these years, months, weeks, etc. I've been thinking these bad things have been happening to me and that I am self destructive just because that's the way the cookie crumbles. I have recently realized though, that I am completely wrong.

Growing up, I have been taking these bad things that have happened or the "bad" choices I have made much more personally than I should have. Now, that I've had some time to see how situations play out, I have come to realize that these things really did all have happy endings - just not for myself yet. After having some time for situations to play out, I have realized that the gut choices I have made, have actually made other people happy! (Even my subconscious is trying to please everyone!)


Prime example: a few years ago I broke up with my first boyfriend ever that I actually po…