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Monday, July 21, 2014

Quote of the Day!

"Not all who wander are lost" - Tolkien

I saw this quote, actually, on a license plate today. I forget about this quote in my daily chaos, but every time I see it, it always gets me.

My whole life I've been told I "have a gypsy spirit" or that I have such "wanderlust" and you know what, I'm okay with that. I am always on some kind of an adventure: whether it be a spiritual or physical one, I'm always wandering somewhere! (Honestly, I could relate a lot to  Alice in Wonderland.) Even with all my daydreaming and soul searching and adventuring, I rarely feel lost. Most of the time, I really feel like this is what I should be doing. Even in my career (currently education) choices, I chose something that will continuously keep me "wandering" & adventuring.

Point of my mostly incoherent story: I adore this quote & feel it's a quote more early twenty-somethings should be familiar with.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Egomaniac Alert!

I've been on this train of thought for awhile now; I'll try not to make it too long..

Lately, I have discovered I have been extremely selfish. All these years, months, weeks, etc. I've been thinking these bad things have been happening to me and that I am self destructive just because that's the way the cookie crumbles. I have recently realized though, that I am completely wrong.

Growing up, I have been taking these bad things that have happened or the "bad" choices I have made much more personally than I should have. Now, that I've had some time to see how situations play out, I have come to realize that these things really did all have happy endings - just not for myself yet. After having some time for situations to play out, I have realized that the gut choices I have made, have actually made other people happy! (Even my subconscious is trying to please everyone!)


Prime example: a few years ago I broke up with my first boyfriend ever that I actually possibly saw a future with. We were both young and it was a long distance relationship (anyone outside of ourselves would have seen it was never going to work), but we tried to make it work for awhile because we were crazy about each other. Eventually, we broke up :( and moved on with our lives. During our relationship, I was looking at going to school closer to him and moving down there. Humorously enough, about two days after we broke up, I got accepted into that school.

I went and visited the school, figured out my degree, and became super excited to go, even though I didn't have a boyfriend there anymore. Over the course of the summer though, things in my life took a very sharp turn for the worse and I informed the college that, regretfully, I would not be able to attend. After a few months apart, my ex and I began talking again, but I never told him any of this. Around the beginning of the school year, he told me he had actually been single this whole time and had been waiting for me to move there. Instead of telling him of the things that had happened, I just told him I wasn't going to school there and he should just move on with his life. (I still, have NO idea why I did that.)

A few months down the road, he told me that he had started finally seeing someone new and that he didn't want me to be shocked if I found out on my own. Naturally, I hated the girl, but told him I was happy for him. After that, we never spoke again. After a series of the craziest coincidences (and being half way across the world) I found out that he was in fact getting married to that same girl. Point of my extremely long example; even though I was heartbroken about my hasty, stupid decision, the other person involved ended up meeting the love of his life and is now happily married.


Big picture here: I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself. Continue to trust my gut, don't forget about the big picture, and stop being so conceited! I am not the only one who loses / benefits from situations.

Just another life lesson learned in the journey to adulthood in Chelsea Land.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Wanderlust

It's no secret that my goal in life is to travel the world. Since I was a child, there has been nothing more that I've wanted to than see the world, learn everything, and make a difference in someone's life.

A few months ago, I was able to kick start that dream by traveling to Africa and doing some volunteer work. When I was a freshman / sophomore in college, I did some local volunteer work at a community center. So the volunteering part was nothing new for me. However, I was expecting a life-altering, touch my soul experience; that's not what I got. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved the work I did and I certainly adored the children I was able to meet. (I feel extremely selfish for feeling this way, but) I don't feel like I had a very great impact while I was volunteering. I know I'm not going to single-handedly change the world, but I feel like I could make a significant difference in just ONE person's life. I know this is an extremely selfish way to think of things, on the other hand of it though, I can name several people in my life that have completely changed me as a person: if I can return that to at least one person in my life, I would feel like my life actually has some sort of meaning.

To get back to the original subject (and on a much happier note!), I'm feeling the need to travel again. This time, I'm thinking my second-most desired place: South America! For the next year or two, I'm going to be planning an elaborate trip around South America and, possibly, Antarctica. I want to be able to experience the culture first-hand; try local foods, speak the language, meet families, the works! I want to travel the Amazon, climb to Macchu Pichu, zip line to Christ the Redeemer, go to the Faukland and Galapagos Islands, step foot on the coldest, driest, highest continent in the world. EVERYTHING!

I'm going to keep an elaborate journal & itinerary for this trip, which I will keep everyone updated on! Any input or ideas of things to go / do, let me know!

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Time for review!

Last year, I decided I am done with resolutions. They're silly & pointless and almost never actually get completed. However, that is not to be mistaken for a little reflection. I think December/ January is the perfect time to actually step back & take a look at yourself.
Really look at yourself. Who you are as a person, your contributions to society & others in your life, the people you surround yourself with. In December, you have an entire year of fresh experiences to think about and a whole new year to look forward to! Does what you remember make you feel good about yourself? Then make a change! Confused? Stop trying to convince yourself of things you don't truly believe. Happy? Then, go you! Keep being you :)
This year, I feel a little of all those things. So I've decided, I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself & bring back the parts of me & my life that make me happy! (As well as get rid of a few that don't.) I've never been one to really follow my head (imagine that), but for some reason, that's ALL I've been doing the last year! I seem to make everyone else happy, which is a good thing, but is it really worth sacrificing my own happiness? I think not.
Last year I had Africa to look forward to. This year, I have scuba diving, Key Largo, friend's marriages, & a summer full of new friends (and a little bit of much needed time off of work)! 2014 has barely even started & I'm already feeling a hell of a lot better about it then 2013. So, although you may think I'm taking the easy way out with no resolutions, I don't think anything can really beat having a sound piece of mind and a much better outlook on your life :)

So, I would like to make a final farewell to 2013 & resolutions, a big thank you for a little reflection time, and a warming welcome to 2014!

Happy New Year everyone!

"I'm still figuring out who I am, but I know I'm not who I was." - Brendon Urie